Articuno
11-30-2005, 11:14 PM
Tis a personal essay...by meh!:D
I have changed. Everyone has changed. Throughout one’s lifetime a person must change to advance. Whether it is physically or mentally, together or apart, all will change by the time their life has reached its final threshold. I’d hardly think that one’s mental capacity is the same as them at the age of two, let alone physically. I watch my little brother, age six, run around, scream, squeak, and have minimal or easy homework, half days, and feel a brewing sense of jealousy. Then a wish. I wish that he would be thankful for what he has and realize it before it gets torn from his fingers. But he doesn’t, and he can’t, because it’s written in stone that’s the way life has to be.
Many things are written in stone. But I have changed anyway. There have been small ones versus large ones. The small one could be more classified as realizations rather than turning points, but that is a technicality and I was never really one for technicalities in the first place. Like realizations to not only think before I speak, but to look too. I was walking with my friend and comparing a person to another person and speaking moderately loud and as I turned the corner, there was that person. Therefore, I extracted the lesson look before you speak.
But what I have mostly learned is to listen. Listen and understand whether you like what you’re listening to or highly hold against it, listen. I had to learn the hard way, as usual. Now I have separated friendship into two groups. Those who will lie to please you and those who are hardcore honest, and I have had my fair share of both. I do not favor one, but some may. Nobody wants to be smacked in the face with truth (“My Dad died.” “Cheer up, people die every day”), but nobody wants to be lied to either (“Do my hair look bad? How should I fix it?” “Don’t it looks fine!”)
But you see, I need to realize that I have more of the honest friends than I want to. Like I said, nobody wants to be hit with too much honesty, but I have to. My friends are also contradicting with each other. One says the like my make up/hair, another says it looks bad. Only one person has said my singing voice is good. I have met a countless number who have insulted me to near tears and laughed at it because of my voice. It hurts, but it’s honest, and nobody ever likes being hurt. It’s just not fair. Yeah, life’s not fair, but when life’s not fair every single day, it just can get to you.
But it’s the friends who say I have a good singing voice. I know they’re going to be there, and not because of my voice, because they care, they’re true. I only have about two real, true blue friends. Everyone else is nice to have, but can and did let me down. They’re slush and a mess among what I really have. These people, when you’re sad, they’re going to tell you what’s there and the truth, but they’re going to comfort you about it. They’re going to tell you the straightforward bad news, then comfort you. They will be genuinely happy if something good happens to you. They will be genuinely angry at someone if they hurt you. They will not stab you in the back, and do things for your own good, not what you think is your own good. A true friend only comes around once or twice and if you miss the chance of one, then you may never catch it again.
How did I come to this? During lunch I sat. I sat in Mrs. Re’s room and was talking to people. Then I went over to talk to someone else who was in a group. Then the group played a game, they began to sing a song about something and they sat in a circle and went around making up a verse to the song. When it seemed like my turn came up, I was skipped. Moved on, forgotten about and not cared for. Then I realized that it’s true. I only have two real friends and the other’s will just skip over me, every time. They saw my longing to join the singing game and in turn ignored my yearn. Ignored my feelings. Ignored me.
I have changed. Everyone has changed. Throughout one’s lifetime a person must change to advance. Whether it is physically or mentally, together or apart, all will change by the time their life has reached its final threshold. I’d hardly think that one’s mental capacity is the same as them at the age of two, let alone physically. I watch my little brother, age six, run around, scream, squeak, and have minimal or easy homework, half days, and feel a brewing sense of jealousy. Then a wish. I wish that he would be thankful for what he has and realize it before it gets torn from his fingers. But he doesn’t, and he can’t, because it’s written in stone that’s the way life has to be.
Many things are written in stone. But I have changed anyway. There have been small ones versus large ones. The small one could be more classified as realizations rather than turning points, but that is a technicality and I was never really one for technicalities in the first place. Like realizations to not only think before I speak, but to look too. I was walking with my friend and comparing a person to another person and speaking moderately loud and as I turned the corner, there was that person. Therefore, I extracted the lesson look before you speak.
But what I have mostly learned is to listen. Listen and understand whether you like what you’re listening to or highly hold against it, listen. I had to learn the hard way, as usual. Now I have separated friendship into two groups. Those who will lie to please you and those who are hardcore honest, and I have had my fair share of both. I do not favor one, but some may. Nobody wants to be smacked in the face with truth (“My Dad died.” “Cheer up, people die every day”), but nobody wants to be lied to either (“Do my hair look bad? How should I fix it?” “Don’t it looks fine!”)
But you see, I need to realize that I have more of the honest friends than I want to. Like I said, nobody wants to be hit with too much honesty, but I have to. My friends are also contradicting with each other. One says the like my make up/hair, another says it looks bad. Only one person has said my singing voice is good. I have met a countless number who have insulted me to near tears and laughed at it because of my voice. It hurts, but it’s honest, and nobody ever likes being hurt. It’s just not fair. Yeah, life’s not fair, but when life’s not fair every single day, it just can get to you.
But it’s the friends who say I have a good singing voice. I know they’re going to be there, and not because of my voice, because they care, they’re true. I only have about two real, true blue friends. Everyone else is nice to have, but can and did let me down. They’re slush and a mess among what I really have. These people, when you’re sad, they’re going to tell you what’s there and the truth, but they’re going to comfort you about it. They’re going to tell you the straightforward bad news, then comfort you. They will be genuinely happy if something good happens to you. They will be genuinely angry at someone if they hurt you. They will not stab you in the back, and do things for your own good, not what you think is your own good. A true friend only comes around once or twice and if you miss the chance of one, then you may never catch it again.
How did I come to this? During lunch I sat. I sat in Mrs. Re’s room and was talking to people. Then I went over to talk to someone else who was in a group. Then the group played a game, they began to sing a song about something and they sat in a circle and went around making up a verse to the song. When it seemed like my turn came up, I was skipped. Moved on, forgotten about and not cared for. Then I realized that it’s true. I only have two real friends and the other’s will just skip over me, every time. They saw my longing to join the singing game and in turn ignored my yearn. Ignored my feelings. Ignored me.